I have been having with myself.
There is, despite evidence to the contrary, a method to what I have been posting. It is both existential
and chaotic and it is not. Until this point, I have not made an entry of my own on this blog with the exception of comments about the contents of a post or a question about some entry's gist. That is until today....
Though I had not intended to write an entry of my own at this point, because of some things happening in my life, the following is a dialogue I have been having with myself and I find a need to include it in this blog.
I had a major breakthrough on my way home from work about my "almost, probable, certain future." I feel like I'm "stuck" at work because of "external circumstances," eg not having the connections that others have, the plethora of a club of administrators who take care of each other first, or being too qualified compared to others, when, actually, I am making it my "almost, probable, certain future" based on the past. I'm not believing that anything is possible because the past is in front of me not behind me. There should not be an almost, probable, certain future; there are only endless possibilities because nothing exists in the future except things I create. The past has already been created and exists no more.
No matter how many times I tell this to myself [and it has been for years and years] it is difficult to always keep it in perspective.
I do not believe that anything exists.
Anything. Existence is predicated on language. Everything must be distinguished by language. Language is what makes anything exist because I name it as such, yet I still can't prove that anything exists.
We have a set of common distinctions about objects. We call a chair a chair because of the language we use to describe it or, rather, what language we decided to use to describe its existence.
It is a task teaching kids how to read because language itself is a creation. A creation that is actually foreign to the functioning of the brain processes. No one has ever been able to explain how we learn to read. There are many theories that explain the various steps but none that explain how. Yet, we are driven to learn how to read - and write.
The artist George Seurat is attributed with a phrase: "A blank canvas. So many possibilities." Endless possibilities not based on an "almost, probable, certain future" but on
nothing that previously existed on the blank canvas. What is interesting is that Seurat's art was known as pointilism, a blending of dots that are so close together that they give depth, color, perspective and emotion. In addition, there is a scientific and mathematical basis to this form of art since it deals with an optical mixture based on light. This explanation, of course, is based on the distinctions we make based on language that is a creation itself and may not exist.
So, if "nothing exists," or the antithesis that is an "almost, probable, certain future" does not exist, we have to understand that we have the possibility of creating anything and everything from nothing.
so many possibilities...